Tarush

We took Keon on our errands today, which required having to ride the elevator several times. He cried in fear everytime we did, which made me wonder because he has no particular fear of enclosed spaces.

Then I realized his point of view…

You enter a tiny windowless room to stand around and do nothing. And other strangers come in to stand around facing the same direction, doing nothing. And you all just stand there, in a tiny windowless room, saying nothing nor doing nothing.

Yeah that IS freaky.

Looks like we’ve found a potential buyer for our house, and we’ll be sorting out paperwork and all.

So will have to find a new place to move in that can accommodate my family and my grandma.

I was so keen on this move a couple of days ago, now that it’s impending, I’m starting to get cold feet.

There are numerous better potentials on this new house-hunt. I could finally get away from the hustle and bustle of stressful Manila living (since most of my work is done online). We can find some cozy little house with a pocket garden and in a secure village where Keon can learn to ride a bike.

But change, I just realized, makes me very very anxious. And nervous. And unsure.

Sometimes it’s hard to grasp at straws and rationalizations that can confirm your decisions.

When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up so I could make my own decisions. Now I wish someone else could make them for me.

[edit] Just got a text that the buyers backed out. It's just one uncertainty after another, which only affirms the fact that I don't know what I want.

Everyday, I miss the world.

I’m a De Leon.

My grandmother is Pineda.

My grandfather is Parungao.

My mom is Urquiola.

My aunt is Buella.

My cousin is Kawakami.

My sister is Nakama.

My son is Krijgsveld.

 

Drawing the family tree has always been my least favorite grade school activity.

Hi all!

We’re selling our house in Better Living Subd. Paranaque City

It’s a spacious 4BR house that sits on a 240 sq m lot, only 3 mins walking distance from Eurocampus. And a tricycle away from SM Bicutan.

For more details, please click the link below.

 

Our condo in Palm Grove is for rent too!

65 sq m 3rd floor unit, 2BR, 1TB. Spacious living and dining opens up to the kitchen. Unit has its own laundry area and balcony. The compound is great, with a pool and 24-hour security. More pics and details in the link below:

 

Please help spread the word :)

Gmail, Yahoo Mail, Hotmail, MSN, YM – too much online identities to manage. But if you’re a net potato like me, it’s much fun to discover the tweaks and upgrades you can do on your virtual spots.

My Gmail is sporting a cute funky Ninja skin…

And I’ve also rediscovered MSN – Windows Live na pala siya ngayon. With much more features and add-ons. I’m actually using a Windows Live freeware now to update my blogs. Click above to read more about it. Mega-convenient.

I love being net-savvy ^_^

P.S.
Oh my goddddd!!!
This is so beautiful I'm going to cryyy!!!

Complete 25 DVD collection of The Real Ghostbusters!!!

*sobs*

Yes friends, stay at home moms have a lot of time to kill and contests to join :p Let's fly to Europe!!!

Freelancing pitfalls I've been guilty of,
A new social networking site I stumbled upon that might help kick the habit,
and my ode to Super Mario. Did you know he was named after Nintendo US office's landlord?

This is my pitstop when I have the writing itch and I got no assignments to work on.

There's always a point, somewhere in our history, when we felt that the world was at our feet. And how lucky it must be that we could grace it with our stellar presence.

Our name travelled around in good reputation, our close-knit circle of friends remain loyal and close by, and every attempt ended in success.

Well I lost my mojo. I've been writing all morning about useless things, and I'm not happy. I'm ticking things in my to-do list, but they're all such menial to-do's, that they don't bring me a sense of fulfillment.

I lost my mojo. I don't know exactly what it is that I want to do, or where to go from here.

I lost my mojo. I haven't even played a game in a long long time, and I don't even know what game I want to play.

I lost my mojo. I haven't read a book in probably over a year. And I have unopened books accumulating dust in my cluttered cluttered bookcase.

I'm sitting in clutter. Blogging. Looking for my mojo.

Grrr.....and I can't even have a smoke.


I want my mojo back. (But no, I don't want to smoke again)

I think I can find it if I can find out what I was like in the past.

So, people from my past, aside from pining away for The Undertaker and fanboy pinups of Edward Furlong, and chasing around gay stage designers in CCP, what was I like?




 

After 3 successful nicotine-free days, I'm ashamed to admit I cracked and crumbled today.

TIME CRUMBLED:                         approx. 1:00pm
TRIGGER:                                        monumental financial/familial stress
DURATION OF PREVENTION:    2 hours
ACCOUNT:                                      Some stress has been encountered in the past 3 days, which was satiated by binge eating and peppermint      gum. But today, a big stressor factor, which has been looming over our heads for months now, blew up a little. After two hours of trying to deal with it in other ways, I cracked when I was on the phone trying to iron out the problem and getting stressed out even more.
STICKS SMOKED:                          5

Ok, back to box 1 for me.

Try. Harder. HARDER!

Today I will quit smoking.

I've been reading up on ways to do so, because I am so cigarette-dependent. I smoke first thing in the morning, I smoke when I feel like it, I smoke while driving, I smoke while writing, basically I'm just a stinky yucky human chimney.

And now I hate it.

So, I'm writing about it to give me a sense of public accountability. I will quit, but I am scared. Just thinking about quitting gets me stressed and makes me want to light up.

For now. Let's do it cold turkey.

I have one stick left in my pack...And change on the table to buy a new one.

Damn I'm scared.

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UPDATE:
Cas and I smoke about a pack each a day. I'm not sure how it got to that point. We're not under constant stress or anything. I guess it's just that we can smoke freely around the house, and the habit just formed big time.

So, since we spend for 2 packs a day, and each pack costs an average of Php30.00. That's Php1,800/mo on cigarettes alone. Php21,900 a year. Shit, beach din yun!

Now I've placed a piggy bank beside me, and I'm putting in Php34.00 -- the one I've set aside for my next pack.

Let's see if Cas and I will be hitting the beach at the end of the year.

Wish me luck!

This is my personal therapy journal. Rambling out thoughts that I know will only be read by dear friends.

And since I've gotten on the online freelance boat, I've been writing everyday constantly. Today, I took a break from assignment writing, and found my fingers itching to keep typing.

So I've created a more professional blog.

Dear internet, this is my black blazer and high-heeled pumps. Please do take a peek at Raket Fuel when you're bored :) It's my pit stop for reloading when I'm not career-ing articles.

This is the poorest I've ever been in a long while. My bank account is constantly teetering on 0. I am behind on some bills. I'm unable to purchase anything. I'm unemployed. I have to scrimp so much that my grandmother had to buy me a pair of house slippers, because I couldn't replace my dying, worn-out one.

But I've never been happier.

During my income peak when I was single, I was always always geared towards a big purchase. All my income was pooled in order to splurge on that next big thing. A music player, a handheld console, an all-out spa day, a shopping spree. And I thought  I'd get my contentment the moment I have that complete wardrobe, a variety of shoes for different occasions, the right accessories, a range of beauty and bath products. And I would always have that aching desire for some great hi-tech device. I'd literally ache with desire for that new iPod, or that DSLR, or that better handheld console.

I don't have any of those, and I am so happy and content. And wow, it's so liberating.

I'm not sure how I got here. Of course I'm still working towards a bit of financial breathing space, I would like to buy some nice stuff for myself too, I still want a DSLR if I can afford it -- but on the whole I am very very happy. Keon's happy playing with his hand-me-down toys and second-hand books. Cas and I are excited with every completed torrent download for a little at-home movie time. Mama loves her morning routine of feeding Keon fruits.

Sure I still want to take trips to the beach. And it would be nice to replace my 1-1/2 year old flip-flops with fading prints. And boy, I could really use some garlic butter crabs or rare teppanyaki steak. But there's laughter in the house everyday. And that alone makes me feel damn rich.

My sister's finally home ^_^ And she's happy to be. I'm so glad. I get to spend a whole week with her, before she flies off to the States.
I'll miss her terribly, but i'm so glad we're talking very well.

This is a slightly personal post...I'm not gonna go into any Top 10 of 2008 in music, tech, or what-have-you. This is MY 2008 turning points post. The year turned out to be memorable, filled with life-altering events and choices.

( So this is my Top 2008 Things That Changed Me )

For someone who doesn't even know how to cook eggs, I'm proud to brandish my Christmas Cookies! Look! I baked something! From scratch! I'm so proud!


They're just simple sugar cookies with icing. I didn't have any cookie cutters, so I tried to meticulously cut out Xmas tree patterns out of the dough. I got lazy so there's only one. I used Keon's star-shaped block toy to make the star cookies :p

Wheeee!! Today sugar cookies, tomorrow scrumptious chocolate souffle XD

Merry Christmas everyone!

Working on my online life now again.

Steps taken:
1) Updating dead feeds on netvibes.
    - Netvibes.com is my all-time favorite homepage on the web. I tried playing with iGoogle last night, only because I found they had a Pocoyo theme. But after a couple of minutes, and searching for Netvibes vs. iGoogle on the web, I've come up with the conclusion that Netvibes still wins hands-down. Easier RSS feeding, more functionality, better interface, and lots more personalization options.
2) Cleaning out Friendster and Facebook trash.
    - Ignoring a gargantuan amount of application requests and unknown friend requests.
3) Bloghopping again.
    - Finding out what the rest of the world is up to.

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New year. New career.

So my stint in corporate management didn't quite take off. I gotta face the music, poring over excel sheets and powerpoint presentations, making a million follow up calls and sending out countless proposal letters for over 10 hours a day is really not for me.

So after sitting on my butt for the past 2 months, spending all day with my 10 month old, and learning to burn cookies on the stove -- it's time to get back to the daily grind. More about it when I've signed papers.

Happy holidays everyone!

Hello.

 

My name is Polly, and I am a parrot.

I tend to repeat everything I hear. Humans tend to think it's cute. Little do they know I'm simply mocking their stupidity.

Because as I repeat. I absorb.

And I don't absorb in the sense that I simply retain the little knowledge they choose to impart on me.

I absorb their intelligence from them.

It's part of my big plan. In the great scheme of things, we parrot have decided to take over the earth.

The apes, they don't know shit. All they know is hot to get to a banana without peeling it. And then play with themselves for pleasure.

My kind is much more sophisticated than that.

So if you encounter a human idiot. Chances are, they've met a parrot. And found it a little too cute.
 

After over a month of blood (nadulas ako nung shoot at nagalusan ng maliit), sweat (muntik nang hindi umabot cheke for the equipment), and tears (naiyak ako sa potential delays)...the fruits of my hard labor is now available for the whole world to see!

In cooperation with officemates, directed by Wincy Ong, and produced by yours truly.

We proudly present! The latest opus for the gamers, by a gamer. 

(And also my very first online byline)

AMPFUFU!

One time in college, I resolved to do something different everyday.

I only got to sustain it for a week.

But during that week, I learned video editing, rode a calesa in Chinatown, hung out with a lot of strangers, climbed the rooftop of a school building at midnight, and got to see the engine of a cruise liner.

It's not an easy attempt when you have to live life.

But then again, that WAS living life. Not being within four walls behind Outlook reminders, or crawling along Ayala on a rush hour.

During the past month, I only got to experience that TWICE. Two weeks ago in a music video shoot (first time), and last night during a radio commercial recording (first time). Both physically draining, but a helluva lot of FUN.

Wish there was more of that to come.

But maybe, instead of wishing it my way, I have to go seek it.

If only life wasn't so much of a sticky web that engulfs you and leaves you paralyzed and stuck.